I’ve never talked to anyone. I’m used to handling things on my own. Aren’t people who go to therapy weak?
Not at all. Everyone needs help now and then. It’s takes strength to know when we do and to reach out to get it. You already have strengths that you’ve used before, that for whatever reason aren’t working right now. Perhaps this problem feels overwhelming and is making it difficult to access your strengths. In our work together, I’ll help you identify what those strengths are and how to implement them again in what is happening now. Or perhaps this problem (as many do) needs to be addressed within a safe, nonjudgmental relationship. There’s no prize for toughing it out on your own when partnering with someone else can better help you get where you want to be.
What’s the difference between talking to you or my best friend or family?
Therapy is private. Often a major part of the healing process is having a safe space to share things that would be too difficult to share with a friend or family member. With a therapist, you can speak freely without anyone knowing things you’re not ready to share.
Also, mental health professionals are trained to see your patterns (of choices, behaviors, responses…) and help you understand how they may be keeping you from the life you want. Friends may not see those patterns objectively, or they may fear hurting your feelings by pointing them out. Therapists are able to effectively work with you to change the patterns that aren’t working.
Some friends are great listeners and give advice that helps. But even good advice rarely results in the real changes that will give you a happier, more authentic, better- connected life. A therapist has the skills and training to support you through your challenges without risking damage to your personal relationships by asking for the kind of help they can’t provide. And sometimes when we share our struggles with friends or family, it makes them upset–and we end up supporting them emotionally rather than the other way around. A therapist will remain supportive of, and focused on, you.
Why shouldn’t I just take medication?
Medication alone cannot solve all issues. What medication does is treat the symptoms. Our work together is designed to explore the root of the issue, dig deep into your feelings & behavior, and develop strategies that can help you accomplish your personal and/or relational goals.
How does it work? What do I have to do in sessions?
It depends! That answer may not seem helpful, but it is truthful.
Because each person is unique and has different issues and goals, therapy will be different depending on the individual. Our sessions will even vary from each other as we uncover the obstacles in the way of you feeling better, living truer, and connecting with others in a meaningful, satisfying way. I will tailor my specific approach to you and your needs, but how you and I connect will always be central to the work we do. There is overwhelming evidence that successful therapy hinges on the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Creating a safe place to work through your concerns in the context of our relationship will be the key to your healing and growth.
What you will do in sessions will vary, too. Your main job will be to bring yourself, just as you are. That may mean that you will talk a lot. Or very little. Or somewhere in between. You may experience intense emotions, or you may not. As you bring you, I will bring my skills, experience, and desire to help in your journey to the life you want.
How long will it take?
It depends! I know, I know. That’s not the most helpful response. Unfortunately, there is no general answer to this question. Everyone’s circumstances are unique to them, and the length of time therapy can take to allow you to accomplish your goals depends on a number of factors.
Some people go to therapy for help with a specific, isolated event (like grieving the loss of a loved one or managing a new stage of their child’s development), which may require relatively few sessions. Others may be dealing with something like repeating, unsatisfying relationship patterns that have been years in the making and may require more more time to deal with. Sometimes the concern that motivates a person to seek therapy could initially seem like it requires a long time to address, and turns out to need much less. And other times a concern that may appear to need little time to work through could uncover deeper obstacles at the root of the distress—which could require more time than might have been expected.
I will encourage and foster ongoing, open communication between us about how your therapy is progressing and any concerns or questions you may have about how long it may take to address the challenges that brought you.
Feel free to contact me with any other questions you may have.